The Choice
by Bianca Ocean
Summary: Hogwarts student Severus Snape must make a choice in his life between the only girl he will ever love and his best would-be-friend, Lucius Malfoy
1. Default Chapter

It was his third year at Hogwarts, and he didn't know whether to be happy or angry at getting back on the scarlet steam engine for another year. He hated home, hated his parents, but he especially hated not really knowing where he belonged.  
Severus had a group of friends at school, but he wasn't sure if he was really part of the group. He had always felt he was outside the gates, just looking in. He was tall and spry with long, black hair that was slightly uncared for. He wasn't ugly, but he wasn't very attractive in the strictest sense either. Not like James Potter, anyway.  
He was put into Slytherin of course, just like his father and mother had been. But he didn't know if he really belonged there either. He was a fair student in all of his classes and could have been better if he cared enough to try a little harder. Magic was easy for him and he would do well in whatever field he chose to be in, and he would probably end up with the Dark Lord in the end. Just as they all expected him to do. But he would never say that out loud, not even to his closest friend Lucius Malfoy.  
The train whistle sounded, signaling to the other students that the train would depart in no less than five minutes time. Severus lugged his trunk onto the train and found his usual compartment, already occupied by Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle.  
They were engrossed in a conversation about hexes and the best one to use on the glorious foursome, Potter, Lupin, Black and Pettigrew.  
"Who knew Black would be in Gryffindor?" Malfoy sneered.  
Severus rolled his eyes, "Honestly, you think you'd be full to bursting with this same old conversation, Malfoy."  
"What's with you, Snape? I thought you hated Potter and Black."  
"I do, but I'm sick to death of talking about the should haves. I'm going to have a nap on this seat. Wake me when we get there." He closed his eyes and tried to blot out the mundane conversation that started right back up. Please let this year be different. I think I will die if this continues, he thought.  
  
As the scarlet train was winding its way through the countryside, Alexandra, in the form of an eleven-year-old girl, was slipping through the gates at Hogwarts. She was wearing a gray skirt and white blouse, her white-blonde hair hung in soft curls just past her bottom. In all respects, this girl was the epitome of beautiful, her eyes shocking blue and her features flawless. She was Italian for the moment, speaking English in a very thick accent. When people heard her talk, they said her voice reminded them of caramel or chocolate, slightly deep, smooth, and rich.  
She marched up the castle stairs and found the location of Dumbledor's office, in front of the gargoyle. She blinked soundlessly and the gargoyle revealed it's secret. Alex rode the stairs to the top and knocked on the mahogany door.  
"Come in," called a slightly surprised voice. Alex walked in and was greeted by Dumbledor's gentle smile. "I wasn't expecting any visitors. Goodness, I haven't slept through start of term, have I?"  
Alex gave an appreciative laugh. "My name is Alexandra Blackbird and I want to join Hogwarts." She sat down in a chair opposite him and placed her hands on the table. "I'm sure you can tell right away that I'm not just any normal girl. I am not a witch, but my destiny lies in this school and with your cooperation."  
His blue eyes twinkled and he sat back, regarding her for a moment. "I can see that you aren't a normal girl. But if you aren't a witch, why would you fit in here? Magic is essential."  
Alex laughed, "I never said I couldn't do magic." She pointed her finger at a goblet on his desk and it levitated. "I don't need a wand to do things. I may not be able to make the wand perform the magic, but I can make it look like it's the wand. Do you see what I mean?"  
"Clarify what you mean by your destiny lies in this school and with my cooperation." He sounded more serious, and maybe a little impressed.  
"I see things, the future and such. I know I am meant to be here, but it must look as if I'm a student here, just like everyone else. You know, human. I need you to keep up the guise with me. None of the other teachers must know."  
Dumbledor scratched his beard and frowned. It was a very uncharacteristic look for him. He stared into her eyes for another moment before answering. "What are you, if you aren't human?"  
"You wouldn't understand if I tried to explain it, sir. Just know that I am much older than you and I have powers that rival those of even say, Voldemort."  
At that Dumbledor frowned even deeper. "Are you a danger as he is?"  
Alex laughed heartily. "I am well above such mortal things as good and evil. Voldemort is nothing more than a ripple in the giant river of life. There are so many things beyond your comprehension, but soon you will understand them all. For now I must simply ask that you agree with me and let me attend your school. I will abide by every rule and play my part to the fullest."  
"May I ask who your destiny involves?"  
Alex thought about it for a moment. "Many, but mostly Severus Snape and Harry Potter."  
"You mean James Potter," he corrected.  
Alex shook her head, "No, I mean Harry Potter. But you will understand years from now."  
"What do you want with Severus Snape?"  
Alex shrugged, "Is that a yes, sir?"  
He nodded slightly and stood up. He rummaged around and finally pulled out a piece of parchment. Tapping it with his wand, he added the name Alexandra Blackbird to the list. "It is official. You are a student of Hogwarts, but you need robes and books and a wand to get by as a normal girl here."  
"Done and done, sir. Now I must get to the train so I can arrive with everyone else."  
"How..." he said but before he could finish, she was gone.  
  
Alex appeared in a secluded corner of the Hogwarts Express, clothed in Hogwarts robes and accompanied by a trunk full of clothes, a wand and books. She swept past other compartments until she found the one occupied by Severus. He was alone for the moment, so she took the opportunity to knock and enter.  
He looked up, glaring at her but his thoughts were loud and clear. My God. "What do you want, first year," he sneered.  
Alex shrugged and dazzled him with her brilliant smile. "Wondering if I could ride in this compartment."  
"Absolutely," came a smooth, drawling voice from behind her.  
She turned and faced Malfoy. "Ah, you riding in here too?"  
He nodded and beckoned her to sit. "Lucius Malfoy," he said extending a hand to her.  
"Alexandra Blackbird," she said and shook his hand. "Who are you," she asked Severus.  
"That's Snape...uh Severus Snape," Malfoy answered for him. "So, do you know what house you're to be in?"  
She shook her head. "Not a clue. I see you occupy Slytherin?"  
He nodded. "What about your family? What houses have they been in?"  
"I don't quite know that. I have no family that I've met. I was found as an infant with only a name of my own. Any of you heard of the Blackbirds?"  
Lucius shook his head, his eyes moving back and forth. "I know of a man just like you. His name was...Tom Riddle."  
Severus choked on his words for a moment. "I don't quite...th-think she's quite like Tom Riddle, Malfoy."  
"You never know really Snape. She could very well be just like him."  
Alex sniggered to herself, knowing exactly what they meant and knowing exactly how insignificant it all was. She turned to Lucius, determined to make him angry. "Who ever he is, I'm sure he couldn't hold a candle to my power."  
"He wouldn't be too happy hearing that from a potential mudblood," Malfoy sneered.  
Alex laughed and winked slyly at Snape. "Who knows, maybe someday he'll be kissing my feet." She stood up and stretched. "Forgive me gents, but I fancy a walk. Being stuck in this compartment, cramped from all the ego stealing the space has made my back ache." She blew a small kiss to Snape and closed the compartment behind her. She stood back from the door and listened to Lucius rant for a moment before moving on.  
While walking quickly down the aisle, she accidentally smacked into Sirius Black. She let herself fall backwards so he would help her up. This was yet another part of the plan and Sirius was the perfect person to run into first.  
"I'm so sorry, first year," he said with a laugh. He extended his hand and helped her up. "Where were you headed," he asked eyeing her face.  
She shrugged, "Not really sure. I guess I was heading away from Lucius Malfoy and his friend. I don't think they liked me much. Actually Malfoy would probably curse me if he sees me again."  
Sirius glared towards the back of the train. "I knew they were bad, but to pick on a houseless first year is disgusting!" He pulled his wand out. "I'll be right back."  
Alex grabbed his arm, "Don't go back there. Let them talk their talk. Can I sit in your compartment? I'm feeling a little lost around here. What year are you anyway?"  
"Third, and so are all my friends. Not too far off from you then, am I?"  
Alex laughed, "I suppose not."  
Black led the way to a compartment in the middle of the train. Before he opened the door he extended his hand. "I'm Sirius Black, by the way."  
She took his hand lightly. "I'm Alexandra Blackbird." She followed him into the compartment where James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were playing exploding snap. They looked up sharply as Sirius entered with a new guest.  
"This is my new little apprentice, Blackbird. Hopefully she's our newest Gryffindor member." He shoved her into the middle of the room.  
James nodded a hello, but Remus couldn't take his eyes off of her. He scooted over to make room for her to sit. This was again, part of the plan, so Alex sat quietly, glancing at him obviously, out of the corner of her eye.  
"So," Lupin said with a grin he couldn't suppress, "do you think you will really be in Gryffindor?"  
"I suppose it might be so. We shall see, shant we?"  
  
Alex rode the boat with the rest of the first years across the great lake and into the castle. She was carted to the front of the Great Hall and placed under the sorting hat.  
"This makes no sense," the sorting hat said into her ear. "You are not meant for here, and yet you are. You are part of a magic so much greater than this. You have your reasons, I can sense that. You must choose your own house. Where do you belong?"  
I know you can hear their thoughts, she said in her mind to the hat. There are two that love me and both are part of my destiny. I know that the Slytherin is the bigger part, but I do not think Slytherin is the place for me. I suppose I will choose Ravenclaw, to keep even.  
"Ravenclaw!" the hat shouted.  
Alex hopped off the stool and made her way to the Ravenclaw table. She looked over at Dumbledor who gave her a serene smile. She saw that he was proud of her, not seeking glory with Gryffindor, not seeking power within Slytherin. He would soon see just how insignificant his world of magic was, though he would never truly be part of her world.  
The feast was amazing, even by her standards, but Alex was in no mood to befriend anyone. She was meant to do something, and she would concentrate on the small group of mortals that mattered to her.  
  
And so life continued at Hogwarts. Alex did well in her studies and snuck conversations with Snape and the trio whenever they met in the halls. Severus, on the other hand had a very interesting year. For he had never had a crush on a single other student before he met Alex, and she was only eleven.  
He followed her around, hoping she wouldn't notice, and she didn't seem to. Malfoy, on the other hand, noticed and had a field day. "Ooh, there goes your would be girlfriend," he would sneer every time she passed them in the halls.  
"She's in Ravenclaw," he said to Snape one night over dinner. "Even if she is beautiful, for a first year, she probably isn't even pure blood."  
"She doesn't even know what kind of blood she has," he retorted angrily.  
"Exactly, she doesn't. If she was pureblood, she'd probably be in Slytherin."  
"But she's a genius, of course she's in Ravenclaw."  
Lucius leaned in close to Severus. "Listen closely Snape, because you're treading on thin ice. I remember what she said about the Dark Lord, and if you want to be on the winning side, you won't associate with those who challenge his power."  
Snape threw down his fork and stormed out of the great hall. He found himself standing outside on the stairs, looking up at the nearly full moon, wondering exactly why a boy of only thirteen should be burdened with such a choice as picking the winning side of life.  
"You're not wrong, you know," came a soft voice from behind him. He turned sharply and came face to face with Alexandra. "But it's never as simple as the right side and wrong side of life. Things exist on a level of consciousness so much higher than right and wrong."  
"How do you know?"  
"I just do," she answered simply. "I, just like most things in this world, am much more complicated than I seem. I'm not just an eleven-year- old girl studying to become a witch. For now, though, that's what I'm doing. And I can't say that I don't enjoy the company."  
"I know you mean Lupin," he said in a sardonic tone.  
She smiled serenely. "Yes, Lupin, he's sweet enough, and part of my destiny, just as you are."  
He swallowed hard and glared at her. "Your destiny? Don't take me for a fool, Blackbird, and don't toy with me."  
Alex approached him slowly and took his hands into hers. "I know things about the future, Severus. I see my future as well as the future of those around us, should I choose to look. I know that you will love me, and I will love you. I know that you will reject me and I know tragedy will strike. In the end, it will be you and I, Severus, and things will change, but it will all work out in the end."  
Snape was struck dumb by this confession. He felt Alex's warm hands gripping his tightly, but he didn't know what to say or do about it. "So," he said finally in a very subdued tone, "where does Lupin fit in?"  
She shrugged and released his grip. "He will save me when I need you the most." There was a touch of bitterness and disappointment in her voice. "And you will forgive me for feeling angry at things yet to come. I must be going, it's late and I have homework." She turned to walk away.  
"Wait," he called after her. She stopped and looked back, tears glistening in her eyes. "I know I can love you, I can feel it here," he said, his fist to his chest. "But I don't know what I'm to do with myself. You're only eleven, and we're...children. I'm too young for this responsibility and intensity."  
She smiled wistfully, "I know, and I have to come to terms with that. You'll have to forgive me for not speaking to you for the rest of this year, but I need some time to cope with what's yet to come." She walked back to him for a moment and took his hand again. "Funny thing, Lupin will always love me, always stay loyal to me and never waver in his conviction. But I choose you. Funny."  
  
The year passed quietly. Lord Voldemort was gaining power, slowly but surely. The other students, ones who bothered to notice such things, saw Dumbledor become increasingly uneasy. He often stayed away from meals and took sabbaticals more often. Alex knew the time was coming for Severus to choose, and the time was coming for her to love.  
Sadly, the year ended and she boarded the train accompanied by Lupin, Black and Potter, Pettigrew trailing behind. Alex was quiet, watching the scenery pass by, thinking of all the things that were to come with somewhat of indifference.  
Suddenly, night was falling, and she and Lupin were alone. He was dying to talk to her, so she let him open up.  
"I really like you, Alex," he said softly. "And I have a secret to tell you." He rested his head on her shoulder.  
"I know your secret, Remus. I know what you are and I don't care. You don't scare me, and you aren't less human. In fact, you're one of the most beautiful humans i've ever met."  
He sighed deeply. "Why is it that you know so much, Alex? You're just a kid, younger than I am."  
"I have a secret too, Remus. I can't tell you what it is just yet, but you'll know soon enough. Just know that you are important to me, and accept that I am sorry for what is to come."  
He looked at her for a moment, frowning but said nothing. Alex caught a glimpse of Severus peeking in on them. She caught the radiating jealousy emanating from him, but he left as quickly as he appeared.  
The train finally reached the station a while later. Alex left before everyone else, grabbing her trunk and stepping onto the platform. Standing by a beam was a very tall, dark haired man with a slightly malicious grin on his face.  
"Cute look," he said in Italian. He grabbed her arm and started to pull her away, "Let's get this over with. I don't want to be here for your little show, I have better things to do with my time."  
"Like trying to kill us all," she spat back in Italian. "It's never going to work Victor. You're going to live until the end of time and be lonely and miserable and you'll have me to thank. I'll never be sorry either, I hope you know that." Alex knew Lupin and Snape were watching her very closely, trying to understand the words she spoke. Otherwise she would not have provoked Victor. "I remember when you were a beautiful person, now all that's left is a hollow husk of a would be man lost in his own mind, and you disgust me."  
Victor lost his temper, spun her in front of him and backhanded her so hard she was flung backwards and her mouth was bleeding in the corner. "You filthy girl with your little games! I will kill you, I can promise that much," he spat in English for the other students to hear.  
Severus meant to take out his wand, but Lupin was quicker. He knocked past Snape and rushed foreword. "How..." but his words died in the air. In the blink of an eye, Alex and Victor were gone.  
A short, malicious laugh came from behind Severus. It was Malfoy who was lugging his trunk behind him. "Fancy that, she gets some sense beat in to her at home. I suppose we should give some thanks for the small joys in life, eh Snape?"  
Lupin rounded on them and held his wand out, "How dare you," he whispered angrily.  
Sirius and James were suddenly at his back, their wands out as well. "Got something to say Snivellius," Black spat.  
Severus looked into Remus' eyes, both of them sharing the same worried look behind the bitter anger. He shook his head and stormed off, away from Malfoy and the others. He had no idea where to find her, no idea how to save her. He could only hope against hope that she would be on the train for the start of the next term. 


	2. Chapter 2

Alex stood in the dimly lighted apartment in her usual form. She was glaring at Victor who was sulking in the corner near the window. "You hit me, Victor. You've only hit me once in my life, and it nearly killed you." Her voice was full of rage as well as empathy.  
"If only it did," he whispered.  
"You asked me to save you," she answered softly, kindly. "I did just that and I thought we'd love each other for eternity. Now all you quest for is destruction."  
Victor turned to her, "Where was she," he demanded suddenly. "She's back in this world and she is pregnant...with a boy. It is your bloodline, I'm sure of it. I know your blood holds the key to the end of this madness."  
Alex knew exactly what he wanted to know, but she would never betray the truth to anyone, especially Victor. "I don't know what you are talking about Victor. You're losing your grip again, and I want you to leave."  
  
Alex was on the platform nine and three quarters early the next year. She boarded the train before anyone else and found a compartment in the very back of the train, trying to be alone. She wanted to stick to her plan, but she worried for her sister. Catrina was in hiding from Victor and her baby was in danger. There was no way to help Cat, but Victor was volatile now, and would do anything to find a cure for immortality.  
Other students began to board the train slowly, and moments later, she was welcomed by an unwelcome guest. Malfoy sauntered in alone, smirking, and closed the door behind him. "Blackbird," he said in greeting.  
"Out Malfoy, before I force you out."  
He sat next to her and took out his wand menacingly. "Don't threaten me, Blackbird. You don't want to test me."  
Alex threw her head back and laughed. "Are you joking?"  
He shook his head, "I don't joke often."  
"Oh I guess not, you reserve that for your performance in class," she retorted and stood up. "Malfoy, you have no idea of the power you are playing with. I am in no mood to deal with you. I'm going to throw you out now, but I believe you will keep my secret for me, or I will embarrass you and your whole family. And I know you don't want that." She lifted her gaze to his face and suddenly he was flung out of the compartment and sprawled on the floor in the hall.  
Severus was standing at the end of the hall, watching with an amused expression. He stepped over Malfoy and into the compartment with Alex. "Lucius," he said in greeting before he shut the door. He sat next to Alex and caught her in a surprise hug.  
"I saw what he did to you when you got off the train last term," he said after letting her go. "I was an ass, and I didn't try to help you, and I wouldn't take matters into my own hands. I felt awful letting you go like that, you not knowing that I really do like you."  
Alex laughed gently, "I was fine, Severus. And I did know how you felt. I told you before, I know you'll love me and I know you want to be with me now." She took his hand into hers and they spend the entire train ride together.  
The pair passed up everyone as they approached the coaches to take them to the school. "Hmm," Alex mused, "Thestrals. How interesting that they would pull the students to school."  
Severus stared at what he always thought was empty space. "Thestrals? So you have seen death?"  
Alex laughed, "I have caused death, Severus." She hopped into the carriage and made room for him.  
Severus seemed to know better than to ask what she meant and spent the rest of the ride to the school in silence, wondering if she might truly be like the Dark Lord.  
"I'm not," she said answering his thoughts as they approached the castle. "He is beneath me, and beneath you. Or will be just as soon as you are able to see the truth behind it all." She stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek softly. "See you," and she strode off to take her seat in the Great Hall.  
  
School was a little tenser than before, the growing unease in the wizarding world was becoming more prominent. The students' families were starting to pick sides, privately but the emotions were plain.  
Alex paid it all no mind. She knew what was to come with little Harry Potter, and she knew the end. But it was all mostly insignificant...mostly. Voldemort was to change Severus' life for good, and she had to prepare him, without telling him what was to come. Her attention this year must be focused on Severus, although it would be Remus that would soon come to her aid.  
  
Alex and Severus spent days on end together, seeing each other every waking minute they had between classes. He always danced around the subject of dating her. It made him crazy that she was so young, not to mention that he couldn't see her apart from Hogwarts.  
Finally, Alex decided to take the initiative and pulled him into a dark corner, away from prying eyes, the students, ghosts and portraits. "Severus," she whispered, "don't fear what you can have with me. I have seen the beginning and the end, we will be together." She kissed him deeply.  
He was shocked at first, but welcomed her kiss as it reached deep into his soul. He breathed in the scent of rose coming from her soft white curls. "This is amazing," he said as he buried his face in her shoulder.  
She ran her fingers through his hair. "I know. And it will only get better."  
  
Severus was very light footed as he entered the dungeon common room. Malfoy was already sitting by the fire, studying out of an old book. He smirked as Snape walked in and sat down. "Have fun snogging? Was it good for you?"  
"Jealous," he snapped back. "A girl that beautiful..."  
"And young," he put in.  
"And about fifty times smarter than you." He leaned in and whispered the last part, "And fifty times more powerful." He stood up and gathered his bag. "I'm off to bed."  
Months passed that way, like they were mere seconds. He spent all of his free time with Alex, learning new things, learning how to do old things better. He was forced to go home for the holidays, hating his parents for every second he was away, knowing that the fabulous trio was at her side for two whole weeks, feeding her garbage about how him being evil and such. He would get them back for it. If he came back to her hating him, they would pay. And if that did make him evil, so be it.  
  
Alexandra was spending time with the trio, but it wasn't to feed off the rumors of Severus. She would need them, and now was the time to seal that loyalty. They did hate Severus and Alex saw why both sides carried such hatred. The trio thought they were better than Severus, and Severus hated that. They badgered Alex about it, but it didn't get to her.  
"I just get what you see in him," Black said lazily. The four of them were sitting outside around a small fire Alex had lit. "He's so greasy and slimy."  
"He isn't," she retorted casually. "Not greasy at all. He smells quite nice actually and he's really smart."  
"But he's in Slytherin. He's probably set to join up with all those others..."  
"Like the Blacks," Alex said, touching a nerve.  
James shook his head, "Sirius isn't like that, and you know it. Besides, he's in Gryffindor."  
"And the house you belong to is what defines you?"  
James and Sirius both nodded but Lupin stared at her thoughtfully. "I suppose not," he answered quietly. "I was nearly put into Ravenclaw, but in the end the hat chose Gryffindor."  
James and Sirius looked at him sharply. It was clear that neither of them knew that. "Well," Alex said after a moment of letting Lupin's last remark set in, "the sorting hat asked me to pick between Ravenclaw and Slytherin. I had met Malfoy and my choice was pretty easy. But I like Severus." She rounded on James and looked him deep in the eye. "Someday James, you are going to owe him a very large debt. So tread lightly, because if he winds up hating you as deeply as I've seen, it could harm the chances of your son ever being happy."  
Alex, having seen the future, knew it was detrimental for the warning to be given. She had seen two paths, and on one, Harry would never be happy. He would be an angry bitter adult and there would be no room in his world for love.  
Alex found that it was time to take her leave of the group. She sauntered off in the snow towards the castle. James had said nothing to the two boys and from what she gathered, he didn't say much for the rest of the holiday.  
Feeling bad, Alex decided to track him down the day before term was to start again. He was in the library catching up on homework, absentmindedly fingering the snitch he had nicked. She took a seat next to him and kept her voice at a low whisper.  
"I didn't mean to unnerve you," she said solemnly.  
"You know what's in my future, don't you?"  
She nodded. "Normally I won't say anything to anyone, but I have seen two paths James, and in one, your son is a very bitter and angry person with no hope for love."  
"You know, I'm only a kid. I don't plan on having a son for a very long time."  
Alex laughed gently. "Yes, I know. But I also know that you are a good person at heart. I know that you are young, but it is your actions today that will affect your son tomorrow."  
"Today?"  
She smiled coyly, "Not today, but soon, while you are still a child."  
"This has to do with Snivellius?"  
Alex frowned, "You don't understand him, James. I don't ever expect you to try, but maybe someday you can try to understand."  
  
Alex left the conversation at that. She knew James would rise to the occasion when Sirius tried to kill Severus. James would relent and Severus would walk away scarred emotionally but physically unscathed.  
Term was approaching the end, and Alex would continue her search for her sister for the rest of the summer. The train ride to the station was agonizingly slow and she spent a fair amount of the ride alone. Malfoy insisted on taking Severus for a talk, suggesting that Alex go play with her "little mates" for a while.  
She decided to hunker down in the trio's compartment, sitting near the window next to Remus. Alex was feeling a little uneasy, hating to be in Peter's company. He was already aching to gain some sort of power, and knowing what he would do in the near future made Alex sick to her stomach. She could easily kill him now and be done with it, but that wasn't her job, it wasn't her place. Instead, she kept her head on Remus' shoulder and watched the green scenery pass her by.  
"Something the matter, love?" Remus asked after the food cart had passed and the compartment was full of tasty smells.  
Alex picked at the pumpkin pasty she held in her hand, but she didn't eat it. "I just feel really alone right now."  
"Why," Peter piped up for once, "you miss your Snivelly lap dog?" He looked around at the group for praise but he got nothing more than a faint smile from Sirius.  
Remus threw an empty box of Berite Bott's Every Flavor Beans at him, and hit him in the head. "Do show some compassion, you twit. I wont permit anyone to talk to her like that." Peter flushed and looked down at his feet, saying nothing more.  
"You all have no idea what lonely means," she said very softly, tears welling in her eyes. "There is only one person existing on this earth that could ever understand, and I've no way to find him. No doubt he's off with his new project, showing her the sights of the world, trying to get her to appreciate the subtle beauty of a cobblestone street. He'll never find the one he seeks," she added bitterly, not caring that the boys had no idea what she meant. "There is no born human that can understand just what I do, and none who can be made that will fully understand what we can become. I fear we are all lost." Alex was slipping into a black hole that existed within her mind, a place where she would sometimes go, filled with despair, and she would not reappear until something pulled her out. She would go on with life, with her plans, knowing she couldn't stay in the dark forever, that her life would go on forever. But she needed some compassion, some beauty that would show her that it was worth it not to slip into a dark underground and stay until the end of her eternity.  
Remus feared for her, assuming it had to do with the man he saw hit her on the platform. He thought her nothing than a mortal girl, subject to mortal pain and fear. So he feared for her and feared she might try to end her life while she was cut off from the rest of the world during her lonely summer. He held her tight to him, hoping that he was reassuring her that she had something worth living for. He could love her, if only she would let him. If only she would not choose the abuse that Snape and his friends would no doubt subject her to if she stayed with them any longer.  
Sure, he knew that on his own, Snape could be all Alex wanted him to be. But he was coupled with Malfoy and the other Slytherin cronies, and Alex couldn't stand a chance. Well, a mortal Alex couldn't stand a chance. But he would understand soon, and he would keep her secrets for her until his dying day. Remus would realize the beauty that life could someday lead to a dying day, and he would welcome it with open arms. 


	3. Chapter 3

For now, Remus was blessedly in the dark. Alex went on a mission to find Catrina and the illusive baby boy she must have given birth to by then. She owled Dumbledor and met with him in the heart of Paris to explain her situation. She waited at a café and soon a muggle-clad Dumbledor, looking somewhat distinguished in his suit, joined her.  
"Good evening Alexandra," he said pleasantly. "You're looking...well."  
Alex was in her normal form. She looked about twenty-five, same basic features but she was all the more alluring now that she looked the part of an adult. "It's time you knew all, or at least see all, Albus. I think you already knew I wasn't a child. I'm far more than that, but I'm also far more than a human."  
He nodded, clasping his hands on the table. "I had an inkling," he said with a small smile.  
"I've always been on the earth, as long as some form of mammal walked the earth. But I'm not going to tell you about it, it would only confuse and bother you. I'm here because I'm trying to help your student, Severus. I do love him, and I want things to go properly in the events to come. I must be part of his life." She sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "I have a mission of my own, I have to find my...sister. She and her baby could be in danger and I have to find her. I need to keep up the guise that I'm doing work via owl, correspondence in a sense. Trust me that work will reach your teachers and they will be more than satisfied. Assure them all that when I return this winter, I will take a practical exam and pass with flying colors."  
"You are sure you can do this?"  
Alex laughed heartily and stood up. "I can do anything," she smiled and traipsed off into the crowd of tourists.  
Dumbledor sat at the table for a little while longer, staring at her half drunk coffee and musing about this amazing creature he had the fortune to meet. She confused and amused him on so many levels, he was unsure if he enjoyed her company or was eternally frustrated with her cryptic nature.  
He could tell, as he could with many things, she would be the answer to Severus' prayers. He could feel the boy's soul calling out in the middle of the night every now and then and he ached to give Severus some deliverance. It wasn't his place, though. The boy was surely to aid Riddle in the end, but maybe, he could hope that Alex was the one to bring him home.  
  
Alex found her sister by early November and was assured the boy, though not accessible, was safe and sound in his father's arms. Alex kissed Catrina goodbye, knowing it would be ages before they met again, and she was sad again.  
The omnipresent black hole was still taunting her. Retreating into herself was a welcome feeling after centuries of seeking what she could never have. But she ignored the desire to be alone with herself and returned to Hogwarts, a thirteen year old third year student. She met with all six of her professors and successfully passed each practical exam. She knew what every third year should know at that stage, and more. Of course, they didn't know that she wasn't really using magic, she was using a normally untapped power that she had mastered.  
She settled into her dorm, ignoring the other girls questions and got a good night's sleep. At breakfast in the Great Hall the next morning, she was immediately accosted by Lupin, Black and Potter who demanded to know where she had been and who had kept her away.  
Lupin was busy poking and prodding her arms and legs for any signs of bruising or abuse. "Can you tell us why you were gone? Honestly I thought you'd been taken away from us forever."  
Alex looked over at the Slytherin table where Snape was sitting in between Malfoy and a busy eyebrowed boy named Nott. He was trying his hardest not to look at her, but he was emanating a feeling of extreme relief.  
"How has it been for um...Severus?" She glared at them to make sure they knew she was serious.  
Potter and Black both rolled their eyes, but Lupin sighed complacently. "Awful. He refused to ask where you were, but he was always tailing us for clues, trying to over hear our conversations. Every time James or Sirius caught him, he'd try and curse them. We've all spent a fair amount of time in detentions because of the war it's caused."  
Alex couldn't suppress a small giggle. "My face that launched a thousand spells," she joked. But it was a muggle joke, gaining no response from the trio.  
Later in the hall however, Lily Evans caught up with her. "I thought it was funny," she said quickly, as if Alex intimidated her. "You're name's Blackbird, right?"  
Alex smiled at her, hating what was to become of this girl. "You know muggle literature?"  
"I'm muggle born," she said softly.  
"I told you she was a mudblood," came a scathing hiss from nearby. Alex looked up to see the Slytherin gang pass by, led by Malfoy. "She wouldn't be talking to other mudbloods if she wasn't one."  
"Malfoy," Alex said with a small smile, "I'm so sorry you're so impotent, but you don't have to take it out on the rest of us."  
Malfoy stopped in his tracks, "Say that again, Blackbird."  
Alex took Evan's hand and blew the Slytherins a kiss. "Well I can't say this has been intellectually stimulating," smirking at the puzzled looks on Crabbe and Goyle's faces. "But I really must be going. I would tell you where you can stick your little threat, Malfoy, but you probably couldn't find it."  
Alex and Lily sped out of the hall and collapsed, out of breath with laughter, on the front lawn. The trio joined them moments later howling with laughter. "Wow," Sirius said with a grin, "that was amazing. I can't believe you told old Snivelly off like that."  
Alex and Lily both glared. "She was talking to Malfoy, you git. Snape didn't say anything to her." She gathered her bag and started off across the lawn towards the lake where her friends were waiting.  
"Think she'd go to the Yule ball with me," James mused. He pulled the snitch out of his pocket and began to play with it.  
"Ask her," Alex answered, "but don't expect a yes. She has a soft heart where you have none." With that, she was off to her next class.  
  
A few days later, Severus managed to find time alone to approach Alex. She was sitting alone in the library writing on a very long sheet of parchment. "Homework?" he asked softly.  
"Not as much as you fifth years, with O.W.L.'s and all. But I fancy I'll do well on those tests, so I shouldn't complain."  
"Where were you? You didn't write me and no one knew what had happened to you."  
She shrugged and continued writing for a moment. "Would you fancy yourself a teacher?"  
He was slightly taken aback at this change of subject. "I doubt I would enjoy teaching little snot-nosed brats anything. I'm a child and I hate children."  
"You wont hate your own," she said matter of factly. "I was away on family business. I was doing class through owl and I had to take a practical exam before I could reenter school. I passed, of course."  
"Was it that man that hit you on the platform?"  
She shook her head, "No, I was searching for someone. All is well with them, so I returned to school. No other place for me, really."  
He looked down at his feet, feeling uncomfortable. "No place for me, either. Erm," he stammered, "the Yule ball...coming up soon, you know? I'm in fifth year and I thought you would go with me? You could buy dress robes in Hogsmeade if you don't have any."  
She let him squirm in the silence for a few moments before answering. "I don't have any other plans, I suppose I might go. But, what might Malfoy think if you take me?"  
"He can sod off." Alex smiled and for the first time he noticed her two eyeteeth were very, very sharp. They looked so menacing suddenly, as if they could bite right through flesh.  
"They could," she said answering his thoughts. "But I'm not meant for that, I'm higher than that."  
"You're part...vampire? Is that why you can read minds?"  
She laughed heartily, pleased with his ignorance. "Of course not. I cant quite explain what I am. Nameless in a sense, because my kind, while we weren't first, we were better." She stood up and packed her books. "I have to be off. Don't dwell on it, it will do you no good."  
  
"He asked you, didn't he," Remus asked Alex later that day. "Severus?"  
Alex nodded, "I said yes, but my kindness wont save him, Remus."  
"What will," he asked curiously, as if he knew the plot line.  
"I'm not sure," she said and gave a little shiver. "Sometimes I feel like I have it all under control. I know the outline, Remus, I know little details and the title of the would be chapter in life, but sometimes I feel like it's all spinning out of control." Alex didn't know what made her open up to this boy, but she knew he was one of the few who could understand having such a secret, and the need for it to be kept quiet. "You aren't like them, Remus, and I'm grateful for that."  
He smiled serenely at her, sharing a secret smile before he went off to his next class. Alex wondered why it was that she chose to stay with Severus instead of Remus. It really made no sense to her, but for some reason she felt a pull to him, and that pull grew stronger every day.  
The Yule ball approached quickly for Alex, who decided to wear an open silver robe over "muggle" clothing. She chose a tight black shirt and short, ruffled black skirt to outline her developing adolescent body. She curled her hair and twisted small strands into knots, connecting one another so it looked as if she wore a net over the top of her hair. She jeweled the knots and applied a bit of makeup to enhance her features.  
Severus, dressed in elegant black robes, waited for her at the entrance to the Great Hall. He was speechless as she approached and quickly led her to the table he had chosen. "Muggle clothes," he said uncertainly. "Why muggle clothes?"  
Alex shrugged, "I've always been fond of how muggle women look in their tight outfits. I found it enticing." She pursed her glossy lips into a pout. "You don't like it?"  
"It's n-not that," he stammered quickly. "You look lovely, really." He pulled her to the dance floor and they spun round and round, for at least four of the dances. Finally Alex decided to pull Severus along for a walk in the chilly outdoors.  
She held his hand tight and soon was cuddled up next to him under his cloak. They found a bench among the glittering, snow covered bushes and sat together. "I'm feeling very insecure," she said very softly. "I'm going to lose you soon and I don't know if I can bear it."  
He hugged her tightly, kissing her hair. "No, you wont lose me, I'm always going to be with you."  
She buried her face in his warm chest and began to cry softly. "No, I'm already losing you. I can feel you slipping away, and it hurts so much. You're going to betray me and hurt me, and I can deal with that, I really can, but it's just so hard when I know I've found someone whom I want to be with. I could end it all now, of course and just go and kill Voldemort, but that would disrupt the future. I cant let that happen, even if it means sacrificing you." She shuddered and hugged him tighter. "Something else is happening too, but I cant see it. I cant see things in my world, Severus, and I feel that Victor is preparing something. I hate going against him but I don't know what else to do." She knew full well that Severus would be confused by all of this, not knowing what she meant by half of her words, but she had to talk to someone. "I cant kill him, and I know that's what he's always wanted. I had no idea I would be making another true immortal in him, but I did. I used to love him, I really did, but I cant find that love anymore."  
He squeezed her shoulder, feeling a little uneasy. "I don't know what you meant by all those things, but I really am here for you. As for V- voldemort," he stammered over the name, "I just suggest you not meddle in those affairs. I don't want you to get hurt."  
Alex stood up and laughed, "Don't be silly. I could kill Voldemort in an instant if I wanted to. But I wont. I wont mess with the future that way, I cant bring myself to do that." She leaned in and kissed him very deeply for several minutes. "I hate it that I have to make you forget, but I cant let you know any of the things I just told you." She kissed his forehead and the memories were gone. "I have to get to bed," she said and kissed him again. "I hope you had a pleasant evening." 


	4. chapter 4

Alex lay in her bed that night, staring into the blackness, wondering if she should peek in on Severus. She knew that his choice would be made that night, but she was unsure how Malfoy would convince him. Finally she resolved to see how things were going.  
Closing her eyes, she let her power take her vision to the Slytherin fifth year dormitory. Severus and Malfoy were having a row in the middle of the beds, Severus was bright red and clenching his fists at his side.  
"Muggle clothes," Malfoy repeated. "That must mean something, Snape! The girl wore muggle clothes to a wizard ball! She's a threat to you!"  
Severus sat down and stood back up again, unsure of what he wanted to do with himself. "So what, she told me she liked the way muggle clothes looked." His voice was deathly calm compared to Malfoy's loud rambling. "So what does clothes have to do with all of this?"  
Malfoy took a long deep calming breath before he spoke again. "I have met with the Dark Lord again, and while he is not quite ready to rise to full power yet, not quite ready to take over, he is clearly the most powerful wizard to come into being. Severus, aren't you tired of getting pushed around by those mudblood Gryffindors and your parents. And your would- be- girlfriend is toying with you and secretly snogging Lupin behind your back! The time has come for you to choose your side, and if I were you, I'd choose the side that can offer you the true power." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a roll of sealed parchment. "I told the Dark Lord about you, about your genius in potions, and the dark arts. I told him about your ambition to gain power and when you offer your loyalty, it will be unwavering. He has sent out these tasks to his followers. It is an...initiation of sorts, a task to prove your loyalty to him." He handed Severus the parchment. "Think on it tonight, decide where you want to be when it comes down to the war. But only open the parchment if you intend on performing the task. If you don't wish it, I will return it to him. I can't say he won't be...disappointed though. And he hates to be disappointed." With that, Malfoy closed the curtains around his bed and said no more.  
Severus fingered the parchment seal, and placed it on his bedside. He lay staring into the black space where Alex had stared into in her own room moments before that. She knew what he would choose, but she didn't know what was written on the scroll. She feared it was something that would stain his soul forever. Alex had assured Severus that they would be together in the end, but she didn't really know that for sure. Severus could develop a taste for blood and if that happened, there would be no bringing him back.  
Maybe he won't open it, she thought hopefully. But even as those thoughts entered her head, she heard a soft ripping sound. Severus had opened the scroll and was reading it. Alex started to retreat, but in the distance she heard Severus begin to cry softly into his pillow.  
  
The next morning, Alex sought out Lupin. She found him leaving the Great Hall after breakfast on his way to class. She pulled him away from the crowds and began to sob into his arms. "He's gone," she whispered. "He's left me and I don't know if I can get him back."  
Meanwhile, Severus was still in his dormitory reading the parchment for the hundredth time. He shook his head at the task, but he felt it was the only way to get the power he sought, to get the respect he deserved.  
Find the Mudblood you hold so dear and use the Crutacius curse on her. Be stealthy, for I wouldn't want any of my loyal Death Eaters to be imprisoned or expelled. Never speak to her again, and make sure she knew it was you.  
He started downstairs when he ran into Malfoy. "Are you going to do it," he asked, eyeing Snape's pale face.  
"How can I? She's done nothing but love me."  
Malfoy smirked, "You think so? Well follow me and I will show you what I just saw. I can assure you, it was not her loving you." He rushed Snape along the corridors until they were in view of Alex in Lupin's arms. "And just after you two had your lovely date at the ball."  
A large statue concealed Snape and Malfoy, but Alex was in range of Snape's wand. He began to feel a strong bitterness and an urge to hurt someone. He waited for Lupin to release Alex and he pointed his wand.  
  
Alex felt the on coming spell and fell down with mock pain. No wizard spell or curse could actually touch her, but she felt that it was something she had to pretend. She writhed in pain on the floor for several moments. The hall was blessedly free of students and teachers, save for Lupin who was trying to get her up.  
Alex felt Severus release the spell and she stopped shaking. She collapsed into Lupin's arms and bit her tongue so a trickle of blood could be seen spilling out of her mouth.  
"Alex," Lupin breathed. He looked up and saw the shadows of Malfoy and Snape walking away. Snape turned his head and gave Lupin a bitter smile before disappearing into another wing of the school.  
"What did he do to you," Lupin demanded.  
"C-Crutacius curse," Alex whispered. "I need the hospital wing." She clung onto him. "You can't tell anyone. Just say I fainted."  
Lupin shook with rage, "I can't let him get away with that! He can't just use an unforgivable curse on you and expect you to still protect him!"  
Alex gave a feeble laugh, "It's for the greater good, I assure you." 


	5. chapter 5

Lupin agreed to keep the secret from the teachers, but that did not stop him from spilling the entire story to Black and Potter at Alex's bedside later that night. The duo was furious of course, and vowed revenge.  
They put their heads together as they dressed for bed, and Black came up with the plan. "He's always sticking his huge nose where it doesn't belong. Trying to find out where Madam Pomfrey takes Remus once a month. I say we tell him how to get past the whomping willow and let Remus exact his revenge."  
"You reckon he'll go for it," James asked, sounding a little worried.  
"Who, Snivellus or Remus?"  
"Both, really. I don't think Remus would be happy killing anyone, and I don't know if Snape will take our advice."  
"Then we wont tell either of them. Remus is not going to be held responsible for what he does as a werewolf, so we'll keep him in the dark. Then we can let old Snivelly know by over hearing us like in the library."  
James bit his lip and ruffled his always-messy hair. "I...okay, it sounds good to me."  
"Sounds good? It's the most brilliant plan I've had, mate!" It was clear that Sirius was beyond pleased with himself. The full moon was in two days and that was plenty of time for the little secret to slip to Snape.  
  
The duo found Snape sitting alone at a table, reading up on potions and they slipped into a shelf within earshot. Sirius gave James the thumbs up and started the conversation. "It's that knot," he whispered loudly. "The one just below the trunk on the right side. You can't miss it, and Madam Pomfrey will be taking Remus there night after tomorrow."  
"Shhh," James whispered, "we're in the library, someone will hear you."  
Sirius grinned but sounded exasperated. "Oh who would care if they knew were Moony goes once a month. I've never even been asked in all five years of knowing him." Sirius and James left the library and just as they suspected, Snape was hooked.  
  
When Alex woke up from what she felt was a refreshing sleep, she knew exactly what happened. James was beside her bed and his thoughts betrayed them. He was reeking of guilt and his expression was begging someone to bust him.  
"Don't let him get killed," Alex said feebly, keeping up the pretense of a wounded girl. "I can't blame him for what's been done to me, and I can't let him die. I'll get out of my bed myself tomorrow night if you don't stop him."  
James looked at her, alarmed. "You know?"  
Alex sat up and looked deep into his eyes. "I thought you would remember what I had told you. Please James, do this, not just for me but for yourself as well. Could you live with knowing you sent a boy to his death?"  
He stood up, chalk white and shook his head. "You're right, I will tell him the truth."  
"Don't tell him the whole truth, don't betray Remus. Just tell him not to go."  
James agreed but didn't manage to get to Severus until it was too late for Remus. Severus wasn't hurt, but he was seen. Dumbledor took all three boys into his office and demanded to know why they had done such a thing.  
"It's not my fault he over heard us talking," Sirius defended. "He has been aching to follow Remus for ages now, and we shouldn't be blamed for his nosy habits."  
James simply looked into the face of Severus, searching for something in there that told him why he would have harmed Alex.  
"I'm sorry, sir, but they tried to set me up. They staged a conversation in the library, knowing full well I would investigate. James only relented in the end to save his own neck!"  
"And why would we want to set you up?" Sirius pressed angrily. "Have you done something to warrant us setting you up, Snape?"  
"I've done nothing out of the ordinary," he said coolly. "Nothing, I regret anyway."  
Dumbledor listened to this with his hands pressed together under his chin. He stood up and paced back and forth in front of the boys. "This is a severe case of misbehavior. I must impress how important it is that Remus' secret be kept secret. I want you to take an enchanted oath swearing you will keep this a secret. James, Sirius, you have already done so, you may go."  
"Without punishment," Snape yelled standing up. "Outrageous..."  
Dumbledor put his hand up, "Silence Severus. Out you get, boys." They rushed out and Dumbledor turned to face Severus who was breathing angrily. "I will not punish them, as I will not punish you for what you have done to Alex. She has pulled all the strings she has to keep your action a secret. I respect her reasons for that, and I do not betray your secret, which would mean your expulsion as well as imprisonment, because I care for the girl. I can only hope that you find it in yourself to realize what you have in her." He placed a piece of parchment stating that he would be sworn to secrecy. Severus signed without complaint, feeling worse than ever. His allegiance was signed away, however, before that night, and there would be no going back on that.  
  
Alex recovered and was back to classes. She kept mostly to herself, unsure of her next move. She clung to Remus who was feeling torn between wishing he had killed Severus and angry at his friends for exploiting his change. Now Severus knew, and although he had sworn secrecy, it didn't stop him from taunting Remus in the halls.  
Alex was in class the day that Potter and Black attacked Snape in the court yard, but she was watching and was amazed how Lily stuck up for Snape. I think she knew he had something in him that was worth fighting for. She would love James eventually, but it would take time for her to see the good in him.  
On the train home after term ended, Alex decided to give Lily a bit of a boost. She found her in a compartment with some friends and pulled her aside. "I'm really impressed with how you treated Severus, even after he called you a...mudblood. I feel awful about that, I truly do. But James...well he's good at heart. He saved Severus once, and I think you might think on it."  
She left it at that and returned to Remus' side. He stomach was twisting in knots. She had a bad feeling, like something in her world was stirring. She didn't want to believe that she would have to fight something outside of her Hogwarts world, so she tried to ignore it.  
Soon the train stopped in the station and Alex was first to get off. She heard shouting and saw Black and Potter having a row with Malfoy and Snape so she went to stop it. Suddenly she felt like sting in her neck and she went limp on the ground. She rolled her eyes up and saw Victor standing over her with a needle and a dangerous smile.  
"Powerless, just like I like you." He laughed, "I made it with your blood too, how ironic." He took the opportunity to kick her a few times, marveling at how the bruises, for once, did not fade immediately. "Marvelous," he exclaimed. 


	6. chapter 6

Alex felt her body and mind drain of all its strength and power. "What are you doing," she managed weakly.  
Victor pulled her up by her hair. "Getting some revenge," he said with an evil glint in his eye. "Hope your friends are enjoying the show."  
The entire station had seemed to freeze. Lupin and Snape were staring at her with wide eyes, unsure of what to do next. Malfoy, on the other hand, was laughing so hard tears were pouring out of his eyes. "This is brilliant," he exclaimed with glee. "I hope he kills her! Save us the time, eh mate," he nudged Snape with his elbow.  
Lupin started foreword with his wand out, Potter and Black at his back. "Let her go," he threatened.  
Victor laughed mirthlessly at their innocence. "I've no need to hurt you boys, but I will if you make me. I don't want a scene, I'm just going to take my darling Alexandra with me. I imagine you'll have her back by next term." With that, he was gone and so was she.  
Lupin turned to Black and Potter, filled with despair. "What do I do," he asked, sounding frightfully helpless. They shrugged, unable to come up with anything. They had never faced a power like Victors.  
Snape was forced to pretend the incident hadn't happened. He was off with Malfoy to swear an allegiance to the Dark Lord, signing over his soul and any chance of happiness he had outside of Hogwarts with Alex. He didn't look back as they made their way down the platform, and he cursed himself for being so weak.  
  
Alex was lying on a bed in Victor's flat in Venice some hours later, still powerless and weak. She was sure he was going to beat her mercilessly, and she would heal from that. What didn't make sense was Victor, while he hated her, must have a deeper reason than revenge.  
She endured a good fifteen-minute beating and due to the drug he kept administering, she did not heal, as she should have. "I hate it that I hate you so much," he said to her as he mopped up her wounds. "I remember when I loved you and we had eternity to make music and be happy."  
"You were the one who became obsessed with our kind," she retorted. "You were the one who retreated into your silent world of science, not speaking to anyone for decades at a time, then demanding everyone submit blood samples."  
"Have I not brought good to our kind," he said angrily. "I have found the tests to determine which of us will survive. I have learned to tell which of us will die of diseases that run rampant through our blood stream, killing only our kind but leaving me blessedly free to continue my hellish existence on this planet!"  
"If I had known you could not die I would have left you human on your deathbed where I found you," she spat weakly. "Now what do you want with me?"  
"Catrina's boy is dead. He was not a true immortal. He managed to place his seed somewhere on this earth, but I can't find it anywhere. I wont give up looking of course, but I did come to a realization."  
"Oh thanks be to the gods," she said sarcastically.  
"You and her share the same blood line. I have found what I am sure is a kin of the man that impregnated Cat with a male child. I will have him impregnate you and then when you give birth to your bouncy baby boy, I will find the key I need to ending my horror story."  
Alex said nothing to him. She would not give up the information he sought, but this time he seemed quite convinced he was on the right track. For once, he was not trying to pry information out of her. Fortunately for her, Victor was way off. The father of Cat's baby wasn't even in this world. And only Alexandra and Catrina knew the secret. Now all she had to do was protect that baby growing in some woman's womb.  
  
Alex lay in the dark for at least two days before Victor returned. She was injected regularly with the drug that kept her powerless and unable to escape. Finally, he entered the room accompanied by a human male no older than twenty.  
He was tall and thin with blonde hair and gentle face. He looked absolutely terrified as Victor left him in the room with Alex. "Do it or I will kill you," Victor said evilly. He shut the door and bolted it.  
The man approached Alex and let out a great sob when he saw that she was awake. "He-he said that you would be unconscious. I could do it if you were unconscious..."  
Alex didn't bother to try to sit up, it was useless. "Do what? Are you the one sent here to rape me?"  
He nodded, shaking violently. "He is going to kill me and my family. I have a baby girl only three months old. He said he'd make me watch her die."  
"He won't do that," Alex assured him. "He is only trying to force you to do this. But I will help you all I can. He will let me go when this is over and he will let you go unscathed if you cooperate with him."  
"My name's William," he confessed. "So when you have the baby, you'll have that to tell her about me." 


	7. chapter 7

Victor decided not to keep her around after she had become pregnant. He kept her until September first and brought her to the Hogwarts Express. Alex was still under the influence of the drug, so he took the opportunity to threaten her one more time.  
"This baby is mine," he hissed into her ear as he prepared to toss her and her things into an empty compartment. "Don't try to run, I will find you. Whether this baby holds the key or not, I will leave you be after this, but do not run." With that, he threw her onto the seat and shut the door behind him.  
Alex moaned, wishing the drug would wear off and she could stop feeling the pain. Whatever he had given her, had taken away her ability to heal herself properly. She felt every cut and every bruise. She was tired and powerless and she felt pregnant.  
After a little while, just as she suspected, Remus found her lying on the seats alone. He rushed to her side and gathered her into his arms. "I thought I had lost you," he whispered into her ear.  
Alex managed a weak laugh, "No, you wont lose me. I am in pain, however and starving. When is the food cart due?"  
Remus laughed heartily. "I'm sitting here with you broken and bruised and all you can think to ask is about the food."  
Alex looked dark for a moment, and waved her wand at the compartment door, locking it securely. "I have something to tell you."  
"Is it what that man wanted from you?"  
She nodded, "Yes. I feel that it's time to tell someone my secret, and it might as well be you. So let me start with saying...I'm not human. I wasn't born human I have never been human. I am, what the few humans who know of our kind call, a Daywalker. It is a generalized name because there is really no description of my species except that we are distantly related to the Vampire." She showed him her small but deathly sharp fangs. "I don't use my fangs, of course, because I eat food."  
Remus swallowed hard and scratched his forehead. "Okay, I can accept that."  
"Well, let's just say that Vampires would be our kind, however their blood was tainted along the way which gave them certain limitations...and the appearance of being dead. They aren't dead, but we would never tell them that. Their ego is too big," she was hoping for a laugh but received none. She shrugged and continued, "My species was born from humans...well, mammals closely resembling humans, still in their ape form."  
Remus frowned, "You mean...like before the dawn of time and all that rubbish?"  
Alex gave a small giggle. "Yes, exactly what I mean. My brother, if you want to call him that, Alessandro and I were born of these creatures before there was ever anything like time, or even a spoken language. I was born as you see me now. I've lived mostly in hiding for my brother's fear of being found out, but I do not fear for I can not die." She stopped and took a breath. "So there you have it, the creature that is me."  
Remus said nothing for a while, but eventually he kissed her forehead reassuringly. "I can accept that. I suppose the idea that you have always been here, well it's a little hard to grasp, but I can accept what you are."  
"I knew you could, seeing as how you fully appreciate what it's like to not be fully human."  
He smiled at her and squeezed her, causing her to wince. "Sorry! So, why are you like this? I have guessed that your powers are not limited to your wand, and I've never known you to be weak, or even hurt for very long."  
"Well the man you saw back on the platform at the end of last term? He was a fledgling of mine."  
"Fledgling?"  
"I created him. It's a blood exchange rather like that of a Vampire however our blood mingles with yours and evolves the very make up of your body."  
"I don't quite understand that."  
"Don't worry about it. Anyway he is a very bitter man and angry with me because he can't die, but he is lonely and aches deep inside for someone to understand him. He has found no one who can alleviate his pain so he blames me for his existence. He found out that my sister was carrying a boy child, and our species have only ever born females. He was unable to track her down but he thinks he found a relative of the man who impregnated her with a male child. He was able to concoct a serum using my blood and it renders me...nearly human. It locks away my powers and my ability to heal myself."  
"So what happened to you? You look dreadful. I tried to stop him on the platform but there was nothing I could do, he was so powerful, you could feel it in the air that surrounded him."  
Alex laughed, "Yes, he could have taken on the entire wizarding world and come out the victor." She shook her head sadly. "He took me into his flat and took out his anger on me since he knew that it would hurt and couldn't get away. Then he forced the poor human to..." she held up her hands, unsure of how to tactfully say it. "Impregnate me."  
Remus' face dropped. "Impregnate...you mean you're pregnant? What are you going to do? I mean, you cant just go to school pregnant!"  
Alex frowned, "Why not? It's not like it was my fault, and I don't want to leave. I can't leave, not yet. I have to graduate, Severus needs me!"  
"That git who wouldn't even look your way, who used and unforgivable curse on you...needs you?" Remus was clearly outraged and had abandoned his quiet demeanor.  
Alex put up her hands, "Hush Remus, it's okay. You just don't understand, but you will."  
He spit and sputtered but finally gave in and took his seat back next to her. "What are you going to do about this?"  
"Go see Dumbledore and tell him the truth."  
Alex decided to unlock the door and told Remus to find the other Marauders to give her a bit of cheer.  
He was gone for a short while but returned as a quartet, arms laden with nearly every treat that had occupied the food cart. They sat around and talked about nonsense, none of them asking her what had happened.  
"We've decided on something this year," Sirius said in a very low voice. "Haven't we, James?"  
James nodded mischievously. "Yep, and it's going to be brilliant!"  
"What is it," Remus asked, clearly a little annoyed that they hadn't clued him in.  
"Well, we've been thinking about your little...monthly problem," James began.  
"Yes, and we thought you could do with a bit of company," Sirius continued.  
"So we thought old James's cloak could do us a bit of help this year...and we could sneak into the restricted section and..."  
"Nice try," Remus cut in, "but there isn't a cure, or even a spell to keep me tame around humans."  
"Exactly," Sirius said slapping his knee. "So if we cant be humans together..."  
"We can be animals," James said triumphantly. "We can learn to be anamagi, you know, so we can join you and romp about Hogsmeade for the nights!"  
Remus frowned, "I don't know if that's such a good idea. You have to be of age, and you have to register and everything"  
James shook his head, "You really know how to spoil the mood don't you? You only have to be of age and register IF you're found out, and who's going to find out?"  
Remus shook his head, but Alex found it rather amusing. "Sounds like fun to me," she said. "I'll help you out too, if I can."  
Remus glared at her, "Don't encourage them," he hissed.  
James, however, clapped her on the back. "That's the spirit! I knew it would be helpful having a little genius Ravenclaw in our midst!" 


	8. chapter 8

Severus was passing by a compartment when he heard a familiar voice. "He took me to his flat and took out his anger on me since he knew it would hurt and I couldn't get away. Then he forced the poor man to...impregnate me."  
Severus gasped, that was Alex's voice. "Impregnate...you mean you're pregnant?" It was Lupin this time. Bloody werewolf, Snape thought angrily, always in the places where I should be. I should be with her right now. "What are you going to do? I mean, you can't just go to school pregnant."  
"Why not? It's not like it was my fault, and I don't want to leave. I can't leave, not yet. I have to graduate, Severus needs me."  
Severus heard voices coming up the train so he left as quickly as he could. He managed to find his compartment at the very back of the train and found it empty. Lucius and the others must be out tormenting the others.  
He slumped into the seat next to the window and fought back the tears. He couldn't give in to his feelings anymore. He had to lock them away and never look back. He would be grateful when he graduated and didn't have to see her face...her beautiful face...everyday.  
  
Alex jumped out of the carriage before it came to a complete stop on the Hogwarts lawn. She hiked up her robes and bolted inside, desperate to find Dumbledore before the feast began.  
He was sitting at the staff table in the Great Hall like always, smiling at talking to some of the other staff.  
Alex bolted to the front and tried to catch her breath. "Professor, it's an emergency. I really need to see you alone."  
Dumbledore's smile faltered a little and he stood. "Minerva," he said to the teacher on his left, "would you take my place should I not be back shortly?" The black haired teacher nodded, looking curiously at the student that could make Dumbledore jump.  
The old man led Alex to the nearest office, which happened to be the potion master's office. Alex couldn't help but grin at the irony, but didn't share the joke with the professor.  
"What is wrong," he asked gently.  
Alex took a deep breath, "I know you've put up with a lot from me, sir. I know I've asked a lot of you and had you bend many rules. I am sorry about that. But..." she hesitated and then just laid it all out. "Over the summer, I got raped. I was kidnapped on the platform..."  
"I did hear about that," he cut in. "I looked for you but couldn't find even a hint of where you were." He was very calm, his blue eyes a little watery.  
"Well, now I'm pregnant," she said laying a hand flat on her stomach. "I'm about three months along now, I'll start showing soon, but I've no where else to go. I need to have this baby, but I must stay here. This is the only safe place for me."  
"This won't be an easy thing to explain," he said softly. "There is nothing in the rule books saying you can't attend, however the other students will wonder about your condition."  
Alex nodded, "I have thought all this through, and I'm prepared to deal with it all. Maybe you could insist the students talk to you and you could explain...tactfully...what is going on?"  
Dumbledore smiled and surprised her by engulfing her in a huge hug. "I will do as you ask...and may I say, I'm so sorry."  
Alex accepted the hug and together they went back to the feast. The first years were just entering the hall so Dumbledore resumed his place. As Alex went to resume her place with the rest of her class, she could feel Severus' eyes burning into her. She knew he had been listening at the door for a tick and had heard of her condition. With a small smile, she sat down and prepared to attend the school pregnant. 


End file.
